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This is the day my Alex was born.
I looked into his eyes and I knew I would never be the same. I vowed then and there no one would ever hurt my boy. Ever.
Fast forward nine years.
Today I came into the kitchen and saw Alex sobbing. He told me some older neighborhood kids were bossing him around and hurting him. They'd make him fetch the ball when they kicked it. Then they'd wrestle. One would hold him while the other kicked his legs out from underneath him.
I saw red. I mean blood red. The boys are nowhere to be found. Figures. I'd run if I knew I was coming too.
I want to cradle my Alex's almost five foot body into my arms and make all the hurt go away. I want to promise him it will never happen again. I want to find those boys and... well, I won't go into that.
Herein lies the problem: it will happen again. Someone else will be mean. Someone else will hurt his feelings. His heart will probably get broken. What can I do? No one told me being a mom means sometimes you can't fix it. No one told me my insides would feel like they've been run over by a cement truck when I see my child hurting.
Now how do I teach my son to stand up for himself? How do I teach him to sometimes walk away? How do I tell him it's going to be ok? There is so much to teach him, but so many of life's lessons have to be learned by experience. I want to protect him from all of it but I can't. He has to learn the same way we all did.
So for today I hold my boy. I tell him it's all going to be ok. I tell him he did the right thing by leaving when the situation got out of hand. And I tell him those boys should be afraid. Very afraid.
I'll deal with them tomorrow.
So sad-mean, mean boys! We missed you tonight though.
You're such a good mom! Boy, I'm glad I'm not that kid! :)
I wonder if it will be even worse when it's some snobby girl who does the hurting to our boys.... I never knew that each time we got hurt our mom's heart got torn apart too. Even when we were choosing the things that hurt us. Parenting- there is nothing in the world like it!!
It is so heartbreaking that we can't protect them from everything. You help him by teaching him to stand up for himself in a positive way. And by teaching him to stand up for others when they are in the same situation. If other kids tell the bullies we're not going to let you treat other kids like that, it would stop. Plus, parents' of "those kids" need to be more active and involved in their kids' behavior and what they're doing. Now I'm fired up too!
I'll help you when you find them okay.
So I'm sitting at the computer wiping the tears off my cheek. I feel anger, sorrow, and fear as I realize there will come a day I'm sure when I will go through the same thing. I like to be in control of every situation around me and I realize that this will be a situation that I have no control over. I'm not sure what I will do. Thanks for sharing your true feelings.
Jen,
Mom's do want to "fix " everything, but----Alex will remember that you were there to listen and the next time he needs an ear he already knows he has someone in his "corner"
Way to be there Mom!
So... I know it's probably partly because I'm pregnant right now... but I am BAWLING! Jen, I totally hear you-- there is nothing worse than watching our kids get hurt. I think that's what makes me so nervous for kindergarten this year- Andrew won't be so close where I can protect him. That is one of the hardest things about being a mom!